


You Give Love A Bad Name

by OrnateDragon



Series: Rock Love Songs [1]
Category: Cricket RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:00:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25260511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrnateDragon/pseuds/OrnateDragon
Summary: Jason and Sam are getting more serious, but Jase isn’t sure he’s ready to take the final step towards a relationship.
Relationships: Sam Billings/Jason Roy
Series: Rock Love Songs [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2122251
Comments: 13
Kudos: 9





	You Give Love A Bad Name

**Author's Note:**

> Listening to this song, I immediately thought of Bilroy, with Sam sending this to Jroy b/c he’s fed up of Jase shilly-shallying about whether he wants to be in a relationship with Sam. But then, I thought, what if Jase has a good reason to be wary, and this is the song for that?
> 
> This is that fic.

What a lot of people don’t know about Jase is that he’s had a boyfriend before, so the romantic activities he and Sam get up to aren’t new to him.

But, he still worries about the next step, Sam wants to be more than casual, make their relationship official, and Jase… isn’t sure about that. And for a good reason, he thinks, though he hasn’t shared that with Sam, or indeed many people at all.

Because, this boyfriend, that was when Jase first moved up the First XI at Surrey, and Jase hadn’t told any of his teammates at the time that he was bi. Mostly, because this was his first boyfriend, and Jase was still getting used to the ways it all worked with a bloke rather than a woman. But also because his ex, while liking the musculature that Jase was getting from training and playing, didn’t like the amount of time that Jase spent in the gym, or training, or actually playing matches. He thought that Jase having room-mates on away trips meant that Jase was cheating on him, and that Jase not having told his teammates that he was bi meant that Jase was ashamed of having a boyfriend.

The arguments over this didn’t help Jase come out to his teammates, and he couldn’t stop or cut down training or playing, and so the relationship was filled with tension.

The final argument, the one that ended the relationship, was the biggest, most vicious one Jase had ever seen never mind been involved in, and it ended at 3am with Jase in furious tears and his ex storming out of the flat swearing that Jase had ruined everything.

And, _of course_ , it was right before a big county match, and Jase had the most terrible time on the field he thinks he’s ever had. He wasn’t very approachable anyway, and the golden duck and three catches he’d dropped in one innings didn’t help. The only person who tried to comfort him was Jade, squeezing his shoulder as they left the ground, and offering a friendly ear if Jase ever needed to talk.

The first day back at training after that argument and the match, someone happened to say Jase’s ex’s name just as Jase was walking back into the dressing room after fielding practice, and Jase flinched so badly that he almost knocked himself out on the door jamb. Jade, who was right behind him, helped him to the physio’s room and sat there even after Jase was checked out and declared fine. Jase only said that he’d had a bad breakup without specifying that it was with a bloke, but Jade’s not as dumb as he sometimes pretends to be, so he just let Jase hide there, avoiding questions from the other guys and listing all the euphemisms for Voldemort he could remember until the merest flicker of a smile ghosted across Jase’s downcast face. As they left, he squeezed Jase’s shoulder again and said quietly “You know where I am if you need to talk. Any time, Jase.”

Two weeks later, when Jase found all the photos he had of him and his ex, torn to pieces and looking like they’d been dropped in a hot bath, he called Jade without even thinking about it. When Jade picked up, Jase can only make a noise somewhere between an airless gasp and the most hideous sobbing you can imagine, and Jade didn’t hesitate. He was straight into the car and on his way over, rambling soothing nonsense into the phone while Jase choked and whimpered, almost sending himself into a panic attack. Jade used his spare key to let himself in when he got to Jase’s flat, and Jase collapsed into a wailing heap on Jade’s shoulder.

***

The whole breakup, and his reaction to it, scares Jase so much he swears off men, women may be less to his taste but they’re less likely to react to his life the way his ex did, and Jase never goes far beyond casual anyway, because it still hurts letting anyone get close to him.

Sam, though, Sam seemed to have got way into Jase’s heart before he even realised, and three years after Jase’s traumatic breakup, they’re sort of dating, a bit more than casual but Sam wants more. Jase, if he’s being honest with himself, does too, Sam’s so… just so Sam, and Jase can’t help wondering what it would be like to be in a committed relationship with him. Brutal honesty forces Jase to admit, only to himself, they’re basically in a committed relationship, just without telling each other or being open about it. But he’s nervous to take that final step, even though his teammates at Surrey and England know he’s bi, though he’s low-key about it, and still less likely to fully engage in the over-the-top and ridiculous flirting that goes on in such a rich environment for it.

Logically, he knows that Sam will, does, understand the pressures and rigours of training and playing, and won’t resent Jase for not being available at a moment’s notice, or for not cancelling gym sessions because there’s a party going on somewhere. Sam won’t want to go clubbing every weekend, in short Sam is not going to react like ‘You-Know-Who’ (Jade’s habit of referring to Jase’s ex like this, regardless of Jase’s string of ex-girlfriends since, has somehow slipped into Jase’s thoughts. It’s mildly annoying, but somehow reassuring at the same time.) and for all that Jase knows this, he’s still worried, still stuck in worst case scenarios, and he feels unable to make a decision.

He tries to explain to Jade one day, stuttering through his muddled thoughts while rain (it is late March, when is it _not_ raining in Britain in late March?) casts a grey shadow light over Jade’s living room.

“Because, I do want that, but I’m… and I know I’m being silly, and Sam wouldn’t... but… and it’s like, I feel like I should be over this by now, I was only with him for three months,”

“Only?” Jade cuts him off with a scoff. “Mate, he was your first boyfriend, and an absolute shit one, a real twat, it’s not surprising you’re still wary.” One socked foot emerges from the blanket burrito that is Jade slumped on the other end of the sofa, and pokes Jase firmly in the side until he gives in and looks over at Jade, who’s sporting his ‘very serious captaining face’ (Jase has seen it so many times, and yet he’s still not sure every time whether he wants to salute or hug Jade).

“The only way you’re going to be able to get round this, over this, is by talking to Sam, explain what happened with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, why you’re unsure, because I know you haven’t said anything to him about it, you’ve barely said anything to me and I doubt you’ve talked to anyone else. We’ve still got a week before pre-season training starts properly, go see Sam, talk to him, he’ll understand that you want to take it slow, protect yourself from more hurt. If you’re both serious about each other, and I know, I _know_ Jason Jonathan Roy you’re serious about him at least, so don’t even think of arguing,” Jase can’t help but smile, trust Jade to try to mother him at this point.

“And he really likes you, he’s not going to react badly. Ring him now, I’ll hold your hand if you need?” The grin as Jade finishes does make Jase feel like he can do this, can bare his soul to Sam, like the doubts are the rain clouds outside, slowly clearing away to reveal a bright shining new world as he reaches for his phone on the coffee table.

***

Jase arrives an hour late for the first day of preseason training, and even Jade’s smiling abuse can’t dim the beam on Jase’s face. He launches himself into Jade’s widespread arms as soon as he’s close enough, and almost tips them both over the water cooler behind Jade. They cling to each other, and bounce a little, and Jade rescinds his earlier threats of making Jase practice for twice as long as the others in favour of an offer of a celebratory drink later. Then he spots the hickeys on Jase’s neck, and reiterates the double practice threats though his grin never wavers.

The other boys all crowd the pair, having guessed what’s happened, and a massive group hug ensues. Jase can’t remember ever feeling this happy, and while he knows Jade isn’t entirely serious with his threats, he doesn’t think he’d mind all that much if it did happen.

***

All is right in Jase’s world right now, and just the thought of Sam, at his own preseason training with hickeys all over his neck, makes Jase’s smile grow till it almost hurts him.


End file.
